Alcohol and Unrequited Love: Disaster's In The Air
by I Double Dare You
Summary: During a night of drinking to celebrate the end of exams, Remus and Sirius discover that what they feel isn't just platonic friendship. An unconventional start to an interesting relationship, in which Remus drowns Sirius and Sirius hates lavender.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I no own characters or setting, Rowling owns my life!

Rating: Not for de kiddies (there will be sex – as usual ^_^;)

Pairing: Sirius/Remus

Summary: During a night of drinking to celebrate the end of exams, Remus and Sirius discover that their relationship isn't just platonic friendship. What will this realisation bring once they're sober?

Comments: I got the idea for this probably cliched story from personal experience. Last week I had my first kiss (late to the party, I know) - well first three kisses. Long story short I got a little bit tipsy and made out with three of my friends (from both genders – I went from an innocent to a whore* in one night FUCKYESBITCH *and lovin' it ^_^), the first one being the one I've had a pathetic crush on for a while now. It started going further with him and then one of my other friends had the good sense to chuck cold water on us. I don't do that sort of thing ever really, (straight edge, straight A nerd!) so I had to express it and what better way than to write a story about Remus and Sirius doing the same sort of thing. Muahahaha My favourite little puppets! XD (However, I did make our dear Remus significantly more drunk than I was ;D Couldn't resist; he's just too cute!)

PS: I'm so terribly sorry to everyone who has been waiting for me to upload more but my internet has been fucking with me something terrible! D: I promise I have not been resting on my laurels, however, I have been writing my little heart out! Problem is I've started new fics (this being one of 'em) and I'm generally only halfway through ^_^; Soz! But hopefully this will partially make up for my long absence. My external exams are over and now it's time for some fanfiction (fist pump time)! More uploads will be coming your way, my lovelies. Oh and a big, huge, hearty, teary, glompy, mega thank you to everyone who has read or commented on any of my work; sorry that I haven't replied but I really hugely appreciate everything! I LOVE YOU! (the creepy confession of an obsessed and grateful writer ;))

Sorry for the enormous foreword too :S

OOOOOOOOOOOOO

Remus stumbled forward, trying to make sense of the spinning room before him and just ended up laughing at the way his stomach churned and the faces around him blurred confusingly. He felt a firm grip on his forearm, holding him steady and heard a familiar voice mumbling over the the Rock Puppets' pounding music. His vision began to clear and apparently so did his hearing as it turned out the person wasn't mumbling but actually shouting in his ear.

"Remus, sit down, mate. You're going to fall flat on your face in a minute".

He recognised the voice as James' and he giggled at the concerned brown eyes. James sure looked funny today. But never mind that: his bottle of Firewhisky was empty and that couldn't be good, so he turned in search of another. The room wasn't so blurry now and he laughed again as he saw the mild mayhem that was taking place in the Gryffindor common room. There were people laying on the ground laughing hysterically at what appeared to be nothing, people dancing crazily in the middle of the room, people snogging like there was no tomorrow on the armchairs, someone skulling a whole bottle of Firewhisky at the encouragement of the small crowd around him and perhaps most interesting of all, Lily Evans stripping on the table, her shirt already half undone. This lot sure knew how to celebrate the end of exams.

"JAMES!", Remus said quietly in James' ear, vaguely wondering why James jerked back and rubbed his ear, "Look! Lily's wearing that bra you gave her!"

He stumbled again and barely heard James' mutter of, "Oh, for fuck's sake", as he leaned against him, trying to regain his balance. He laughed again as he wondered at the warmth of James' skin against his cheek through his thin shirt and thought that he was a lot taller than he remembered.

"Here, Padfoot, hold him for a second."

"Holy shit, is Moony smashed? I've never seen him this drunk before!"

"Yeah, he's a real lightweight; one bottle of firewhisky and he was gone".

Remus watched as Lily slowly undid another button on her shirt to the loud cheers of the crowd around her feet, and he laughed as she winked and waved at him.

"Leave him, Prongs, he's fine".

Remus watched with a frown as someone ran past holding an enormous bottle of Firewhisky and made to follow them but tripped on a foot – he wasn't sure whose but he didn't feel pain so he assumed it wasn't his own. James caught him again, tightening his grip on his forearm and ignoring Remus' dazed snigger.

"Just look after him for a minute, alright? He's not used to drinking and he'll probably do something really stupid. Just look at him!"

"Merlin, relax. What are you – his mother? Let him have some fun!"

"I don't want him doing anything he'll regret tomorrow; this is his first time being drunk, you prat. Now just take him for a second so I can go and stop Lily taking off her underwear!"

Remus felt the wonderful warmth being removed and replaced with something different. The removal of his support left him tipping sideways dangerously. The floor seemed to be getting strangely closer and then he felt something wrapping around his middle, pulling him back.

"Shit, Moony, you're bloody plastered".

He was pulled back against a warm, firm body and he smiled dazedly, wondering at the strong arms around his waist and the warm breath in his ear that smelled faintly of Dragonspirits. He watched Lily slowly tugging at the straps of her bra and sniggered again. He reached up behind him and vaguely patted Sirius' cheek until he found a stray lock of hair and tugged on it so Sirius' head moved down, allowing him to turn and whisper into his ear, "I think James is finally going to see Lily without her bra on".

Sirius let out a loud bark of laughter and Remus smiled, feeling the hot gust of air tickle his cheek and neck. He looked up at Sirius who hadn't moved back yet, and wondered at how silky his hair looked and soft and pink his lips seemed. Sirius looked back down at him in turn, an amused smile on those beautiful lips which widened in a laugh when Remus began to slide sideways again. The arms around his waist tightened and straightened him again, pressing him more securely against the warm body behind him. Remus looked around the room absently, feeling a strange craving for cake but seeing none, focused instead on Lily who was laughing at an imploring James. He seemed to be beckoning for her to get down but she responded by simply starting to unzip her skirt. He vaguely wondered at the panic in James' eyes and then laughed as James grabbed her around the legs and hauled her over his shoulder and away from the crowd. He lost track of them as he registered a familiar hand swing up in front of him holding a bottle of Dragonspirits. He made to grab it but it moved up beside his head as Sirius took a long swig from it. Remus clumsily pulled it away from Sirius' mouth and brought it down to his own, barely noticing the amused chuckle from behind him.

"Come on, Moony, any more and you'll probably pass out".

The bottle was pulled away from his mouth just as he wrinkled his nose at the taste of the fire-hot, burning alcohol.

"I'mkay", he mumbled distractedly, "but that shit tastes fucking terrible".

Sirius laughed again.

"I hardly ever hear _you_ swear – I like it. Do it again".

Remus giggled drunkenly, "No, Sirius Potter; you're an influence bad on me".

Sirius smiled at him quizzically, apparently taking a couple of moments to understand what Remus had said.

"Take a break, Moons; you're not even talking straight tonight".

Sniggering, Remus replied without thinking, "That's not the only thing I don't do straight".

He dissolved into a fit of laughter at his own joke and through the drunken haze he felt a strange sense of relief that he'd come out with that little secret, even though he hadn't fully meant to say it quite that way and certainly not to Sirius. His knees buckled and Sirius caught him again, helping him stand up straight again. Still chuckling, Remus didn't see look of abject surprise on Sirius' face.

"Really? I didn't know...are you serious?"

"No, silly; you're Sirius!"

Remus dissolved into laughter again at what he perceived to be his own wit and missed the affectionate eye-roll that he received from Sirius.

"But you're really not kidding?", he pressed, "I mean I had no idea you did...stuff with guys – that is what you're talking about, right?"

Remus frowned, wondering on the shaky, anxious tone in Sirius voice but thought little else of it.

"Yeah – wait, no. I dunno. I mean I would have done stuff, I just haven't yet".

There was a pause before Sirius asked in a quieter voice, despite the loud music, "Why?"

"I dunno, I guess no one really...I just, I dunno", Remus replied confusedly, looking around for any Firewhisky within reach. He spotted a half-empty bottle of amber liquid rolling on the floor and tried to reach down and grab it but he didn't seem to have complete control over his arms or legs and with a mumbled "Whups", he tipped forward so far that he nearly fell flat on his face. Sirius hurriedly rebalanced him for the hundredth time that evening.

There was a soft mutter of "Moony", behind him, whether in exasperation, worry or simply an exclamation of surprise, Remus didn't know, but he turned clumsily in answer and found himself a hair's breadth away from Sirius' face. Arms still wrapped securely around him, Sirius looked down at Remus in surprise, inspiring Remus to let out a quiet chuckle and then, without any forethought or thinking at all or logic or reason or any of that helpful, useful stuff, Remus leaned forward and kissed him.

Sirius froze in shock as Remus pressed their lips together, relishing in the warm softness of Sirius' lips and then closing his eyes slowly before letting out a snigger and resting his head against Sirius'. No longer frozen and gripped by a sudden urge (and not a small amount of alcohol), Sirius leaned forward and brought their lips back together, forcefully and insistently. He pried open Remus' mouth with his tongue and felt his few remaining inhibitions disappear as Remus' tongue moved against his own, a little inexperienced and clumsy but quickly learning and working its way into his mouth to explore.

They both vaguely heard the roar that went up around them as all of Gryffindor tower cheered, wolfwhistled and hooted at the sight of the two best friends snogging each other senseless, but they only lost themselves deeper in the kiss, ignoring the world around them. Sirius brought his hand up to cup Remus' cheek and Remus followed his lead, wrapping his arms around Sirius' neck and tilting his head slightly to get easier access to the warm mouth that tasted faintly of Dragonspirits. All that existed to them was each other and the pleasant buzz that was starting in the back of their heads – that is until they ran out of breath and they parted with a quiet smack.

"Fucking hell, I told you to look after him for a couple of minutes, not to snog him to death!"

Sirius glanced around, looking for the irritated voice and found James glaring at him with a giggling and fully dressed Lily under his arm. He meant to reply but was interrupted by a snigger from Remus who, grinning dazedly, leaned forward to pull Sirius into another heated snog. More jeers and whistles went up from the surrounding crowd, not as loud as before but still almost as loud as a score at a Quidditch match and both Remus and Sirius grinned amusedly into the kiss.

"Sirius!", James exclaimed sharply, ignoring the crowd around them.

Sirius pulled away reluctantly, glaring at James in annoyance.

"I told you not to let him do anything stupid -"

"He hasn't", Sirius exclaimed innocently, "Stop worrying, you tosser. It's all fine".

Their little argument was effectively stopped when Alan Prewett promptly threw up with a loud retch, amid cries of disgust and laughter.

Quite unaware and uncaring of events around him, Remus absently leaned forward, gently kissing the corner of Sirius' mouth and then his lightly stubbled cheek before murmuring with a little drunken chuckle, "You've no idea how long I've wanted to do that".

Sirius looked down at him, surprised, despite his foggy brain not being able to process those words properly; he just knew that he liked whatever it was they were saying. He was about to turn and snog Remus senseless again but before he could, Professor McGonogall stepped through the portrait hole.

Whoever said 'hell hath no fury like a woman scorned' (he must've heard that shite from Remus – who else could quote that kind of stuff?), Sirius thought vaguely, had never met Minerva McGonogall. This wasn't just fury - she was like a dragon who had been woken up from a deep sleep by being poked in the eye. He'd never heard her yell so furiously and he wasn't ashamed of admitting that he was terrified. He followed the rushing crowd up the stairs to the dormitories and even though tipsy himself, he hauled Remus up over his shoulder as he knew he'd never get him up the stairs before dawn. He heard Remus' gasp of laughter and hurried up the steps, praying that he wouldn't trip. Luckily he kept his balance and he made it into the seventh year boy's dormitory, letting Remus down gently near his bed. It was dark and all he could hear was the sounds of people running, swearing and laughing and doors slamming as they escaped to their dorms. He blindly led Remus to his own bed and gently sat him down on it, fully intending on going to his own bed and not getting into the bed with Remus, thinking that he wasn't quite that drunk to go that far with someone who was absolutely plastered, and certainly not one of his best friends. But then Remus' hands were fisting the front of his robes and he was being pulled down onto the bed with a loud "Oomph".

Remus laughed, curling on his side and closer up beside him as he pressed their lips together. His intentions on going to his own bed forgotten, Sirius wrapped his arms around him and deepened the kiss, smiling at the way Remus tilted his head so willingly. Remus broke away slowly, grinning happily and then kissing Sirius softly again at random intervals. Finally, the alcohol began to catch up with them and their movements slowed as they curled closer together, arms and legs thrown randomly over each other. They remained that way as they let the tiredness overtake them, sinking into a deep state of oblivion, uncaring and blissfully unaware of what fortune or misfortune their actions might bring the next morning.


	2. Chapter 2

Notes: Squeeeeeeee, you reviewers and readers are amazing! You guys really inspired me to keep chugging along to get this chapter written as fast as I could. However, sorry for the slightly angsty theme to the start of this chapter but you all know how much I hate angst, so it's not for long! :D Also, I seem to have not lived up to the M rating very well :/ The situation just doesn't seem right and I'm very VERY EXTREMELY sorry for misleading you. HOWEVER...[pause for effect ;D]...I will not end this story in two chapters as I originally intended. I will write what I predict to be two more chapters and the last one will be the reason for the M rating (SUBTLE WINK HERE). I wanted to leave it at the end of this chapter but I put an M rating on this story without thinking about it and by golly, I'm going to live up to my word! (I also can't get enough of these two cuties together ;D) Sorry for dragging the story out guys, but I know where it's going and where it will end so no worries, right? :)

OOOOOOOO

His head was exploding.

He was dying by explosion of the brain as punishment for drinking so much last night; he knew it. Or maybe a shameless prankster (in other words: Sirius) had inserted a Filibuster's Fireworks Snap Cracker into his ear and into his brain and then set it off. Remus groaned in pain but quickly stopped as it just made his head pound against the back of his eyes with more ferocity and the firework explode in more vibrant colours. It was too warm and he squirmed, trying to roll over but there was something in the way. He frowned as he paused to take in more of his surroundings. He recognised the feel and smell of his own bed but there was also the heavy smell of alcohol and was that Sirius' cologne? And more importantly, was that warmth Sirius' skin pressed against cheek, arm, neck and _bare hip_?

His eyes flew open and he squinted and blinked rapidly for a few moments before his eyes adjusted from the blissful darkness to the blinding light of late morning. There was Sirius, right next to him, long limbs thrown over his, his arm cushioning Remus' neck, their faces barely millimeters away and Sirius' warm hand on Remus' bare skin of his hip where his shirt had slid up and his pants had slid down slightly.

_What the hell happened last night?_

Remus bit his lip as he carefully tried to untangle his legs from Sirius' and extract himself from his warm embrace without waking him. Impossible task, it turned out, because as soon as Remus sat up ever so slowly, Sirius groaned and squirmed before opening his eyes blearily. Remus froze as the fuzzy, grey-eyed gaze rested on him and he carefully looked away. It wasn't everyday that you woke up in such a compromising position with one of your best male friends, and he wasn't quite sure what to do. Perhaps remembering how they got there was a good start, Remus wondered, wincing as his head throbbed painfully.

"What-what happened last night?" he croaked as he tried to sort through the blurry, odd memories of last night.

Sirius groaned in response, as he reached up to rub his head – as if that would help.

Well let's see, Remus thought, he remembered drinking something, remembered seeing Lily stripping on the table (oh god), James holding him up, then Sirius holding him up, talking to Sirius, "That's not the only thing I don't do straight", (oh crap), then that little discussion with Sirius, and then turning to Sirius, looking up at him and then-then _kissing_ him?, (oh shitshitshit), then snogging, _really_ snogging with Sirius' tongue in his mouth and saying to him, "You've no idea how long I've wanted to do that", oh no, oh fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck!

"Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck!"

He turned to see Sirius looking at him in surprise at his outburst before the grey-eyed god said casually, "So you've remembered, huh?"

Sirius remembered too?

Remus felt his stomach churning uncomfortably and he ungracefully stumbled off the bed.

"You ok? Sit down, mate; you look like you're about to pass out".

He barely had time to shake his head dumbly before he stumbled off to the bathroom and threw up into the toiled bowl.

Between his coughing and retching he could hear snippets of what sounded like Sirius and James talking in the dorm.

"...talked to him yet?"

"...bathroom, throwing up".

"...does he remember...?"

"...think so...remembered something...fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck..."

"...didn't I tell you...?"

"Shut up...be fine..."

"He was drunk...taking advantage..."

"Wasn't like that, I..."

"...slept in the same bed? You didn't...?"

"...No!...fucking plastered...".

"...talk to him...explain..."

The rest was garbled as Remus turned on the tap to wash his face. A couple of ice-cold splashes and several gulps of water later and his head wasn't quite so fuzzy and the room had stopped spinning so confusingly. Grimacing at the lingering taste of vomit in his mouth, he quickly brushed his teeth, giving himself a few minutes of contemplation before he rinsed out his mouth again and turned the tap back off. He rested his head against the soothingly cool sink basin and closed his eyes as he tried to take in everything that had happened...or what he remembered anyway.

And there it was. Like a smack in the face with a shovel: the memory of him standing pressed up against Sirius, Sirius' hand cupping his face, his tongue in his mouth, Remus wondering at the absolute bliss of the feeling and at how he could taste Sirius in his mouth, feel the silk of the lips on his. Fuck, why he was smiling? Valiantly fighting the smile at the memory, he thoughtlessly, reverently brushed his lips with his fingers. Did all of that really happen? It seemed like this wasn't real; it was something that he certainly had never imagined would happen. He'd always thought that what he felt for Sirius would never _ever_ be revealed and that he would surely never act on it. He had convinced himself that it would gradually dwindle to nothing with age and a stabilising of hormones but now it had intensified so much that he couldn't deny that things would never go back to normal now, not for him. And Sirius? Well he hated to face the facts but Remus had to admit that while he was getting all smiley and dreamy over a couple of drunken snogs, Sirius was probably already brushing it off, treating it with the same disregard that he treated every other physical encounter that he'd ever had with the various girls that had fallen in love with him (the number being too high to comprehend for Remus' fuzzy mind right now).

Remus opened his eyes and straightened, looking directly into the mirror to see his reflection staring back somberly. He gave himself a disgusted look. _Pathetic_.

He turned to the door to return to the dorm and face the others with the facade that what had happened had meant as little to him as it did to Sirius, but Sirius was standing in the doorway, looking at him and not giving Remus the chance to cover the somber and pathetically hurt look on his face.

He jumped and quickly fixed what hopefully looked like an effortless, natural smile on his face.

"Oh, hey".

Sirius returned the smile much too briefly and stiffly and there was no verbal reply. Remus fought not to let the smile melt off his face.

"You don't look too good".

Brilliant. Exactly what he wanted to hear. If he'd had a stick he'd have been sorely tempted to whack Sirius with it but alas, no stick, so unfortunately Sirius was safe for now.

"Good morning to you too, Sirius".

"See what drinking and partying does to you? And you've seen me doing it all these years and thought it was easy", Sirius smiled a little less stiffly as he sympathetically took in Remus' bloodshot eyes, "It's all hard work and dedication and here you were thinking I had no ambition".

"Wrong: I always thought you had no ambition for anything other than mischief and mayhem. I was right by the way".

Sirius' grin widened but there was no humorous comment, none of the effortless teasing that he usually subjected Remus to.

_Everything is changing_.

Remus felt his smile slip and stopped trying to keep it up as Sirius' smile faded too.

"About last night...".

_Here we go_, Remus thought dully, _he's going to explain how he was drunk, that he never would have done it otherwise and ask if we can just forget it ever happened. And I'll convince myself that it's fine and I'll tell him that yeah, everything's okay, it meant absolutely nothing and it's no big deal. He wants to forget it while I hate to admit that it's a memory that I'll always secretly treasure._

"Was that your first kiss?"

Remus wanted to smack him. _What kind of question was that? _

Sirius saw the disbelieving, incredulous look on his face and quickly explained, "It's not that it wasn't good or anything, uuuh, it's just that you said you'd never done anything with a guy so I just wondered if that meant..." Sirius trailed of uncertainly as he seemed to run out of confidence at Remus' death glare.

"Just because I'm not a slag like you doesn't mean I'm completely innocent", he pointed out haughtily, leaving out the detail that he'd only kissed one other person before last night. He'd never hear the end of it if Sirius found out that he'd been his second kiss.

"I wasn't trying to say that, I just, I dunno, you said you'd never done anything with guys before and I was just wondering, you know, if you were just into guys or if you'd snogged a girl before me", Sirius bit his lip and avoided Remus' gaze, "I guess I'd feel bad if the first time you'd snogged someone was only because you were drunk".

_But it wasn't only because he was drunk._

For two years now Remus had been trying to convince himself that his feelings for Sirius were strictly platonic brotherly love. Only every now and then would he allow himself to drop the facade and wonder exactly what it was about Sirius that made him so...he didn't think there was a word for it. He needed a word that meant irresistible, forbidden, unforgettable and tempting, besides many more words that Remus decided he shouldn't think about with Sirius standing right there in front of him with an embarrassed, confused look on his face. He sighed.

"It wasn't my first snog", Remus said quietly, masterfully avoiding talking about his sexuality with a small confession, "but if it had been...I mean as far as first snogs go, it wouldn't have been half-bad".

He didn't meet Sirius' eyes, becoming increasingly fascinated by Peter's green towel hanging on the rack to his right.

"You saying I'm a good kisser, Moony?"

Remus affectionately rolled his eyes at the smug, arrogant edge that had returned to his friend's voice and tried to ignore the way his heart sped up as he thought of Sirius' talented mouth. Sirius _was_ a good kisser – a damn good kisser, but he wasn't about to tell him that. No, he certainly wasn't going to tell him how just a single touch had made him feel like there was nothing else in the world but the warmth of Sirius' skin on his, he wasn't about to let him know how that single night had given him hope so strong that he felt he could do anything, that when Sirius kissed him he'd wanted him to never stop and that he'd just wanted to touch Sirius all over to know every part of him. Sirius could never know those things. So instead, he fixed a smirk to his face and replied, "No, I'm saying _I'm_ a good kisser".

Sirius laughed that Padfoot-like bark and replied, eyes bright, "Well, I suppose I can't disagree. But I was just wondering if I measured up, you know, if I was what you'd thought I'd be like".

Remus gazed at him quizzically..._if I was what you'd thought I'd be like?_

The corner of Sirius' mouth twitched as if his grin wanted to widen as he elaborated, "Don't you remember? You told me that I had no idea how long you'd wanted to do that".

Remus felt his face drop and his jaw go slightly slack. Ah, yes, he'd been hoping that Sirius wouldn't have remembered that.

"I assume you were referring to snogging the life out of me, am I right?"

Remus glared at the smug grin on Sirius' face. _You little bastard._

Really, he should have seen this coming. After all, on his good days, Sirius was a self obsessed, conceited, arrogant little turd that liked to believe that everyone was in love with him. And the worst thing was that he was right. So many girls and a surprising amount of boys would have given anything to get just a second glance from those cool, grey eyes. But Sirius didn't really want any of them, he just wanted to know that he _could_ have them if he wanted. And now Remus was just another achievement, another heart conquered in Sirius' quest to be the most heartless, unattainable and yet lovable git in the universe. And now Remus' answer would inevitably just be another confirmation to Sirius that he was a walking sex god. There was no answer that he could give that would not somehow humiliate himself.

Smiling bitterly and unable to escape the painful thoughts going through his still hungover head, he answered coldly, "Yes, I was referring to that. And you know what else? That's not all I've wanted to do all these years. That's right,", Sirius' rigid look of shock spurred him on, his voice rising dangerously, "I can't take my eyes off of you, I've wanted you since fifth year and like just about every girl in the fucking school, I would have given anything just for you to notice me as anything more than a friend. That's what you wanted to hear, isn't it, Sirius? That even dull old Moony found you irresistible, that _no one_ is immune to your charms. Well there it is! Now what? No, no, don't answer, let me guess", Remus overrode Sirius' attempt to interject; this was a rant that had been in the making for two years – it was going to be heard in full now that he had started, "it's more fun this way. You're going to tell me that it's not me, it's you. Or, or maybe the whole, 'I love you but I'm not _in_ love with you' deal – that one has a real kick to it, don't you think? Oh and my personal favourite, 'we can still be friends'. So what's it going to be, Sirius? What are you going to say to me before you completely forget that you ever had a friend named Remus Lupin, now that you've gotten all that you wanted from me. What are you going to do before you put me on the shelf along with every single other person you've used before me. Huh? What's it going to be?"

The room was silent.

The echoes of his shouted final words faded, leaving a distinctly uncomfortable ringing silence. Remus didn't care. He glared at Sirius, relieved that all of his frustration and pent up feelings were no longer suffocating him as he tried to suppress them, but dreading the inevitable end to the ease with which they interacted as friends. Sirius stared right back at him as if he was now seeing Remus through clear glass instead of a fogged window, but he still said nothing. Not a word.

The tension killing him, Remus couldn't help but feel himself shrinking back into his usual cool, controlled, logical self. His outburst was shameful and ridiculous. And what's more, the look on Sirius' face just made him want to disappear. He ducked his head and quickly made for the door, praying that Sirius would just get out of his way, that he'd just let him go. But Sirius didn't move. He stood blocking the doorway, just as he'd arrived minutes ago.

"Sirius...just, move...please", Remus implored quietly, still avoiding his gaze.

Everything was crashing down around his ears. Goodbye seven years of friendship, loyalty and trust. There goes all the good times and the bad, all the memories, the sacrifices and the promises. Don't forget to write, years of laughter, pain and the best chance at happiness that Remus could have ever hoped for.

Then something quite unexpected happened.

Sirius slowly leaned down and, closing his eyes, gently pressed his lips to Remus' for the briefest of seconds. He pulled back as Remus' body and mind froze solid.

"Prat, as if I'd ever use you. I love you", he explained affectionately as he smiled down at Remus' shocked expression. He chuckled as he leaned down for another discrete kiss, taking advantage of the way Remus' jaw hung slack in shock, before -

"Fuck, oww!"

Sirius rubbed his arm where Remus had smacked him viciously.

"What was that for?" he sulked, warily getting ready to dodge another smack as he carefully studied Remus' unreadable expression.

"That was for making me turn into a complete girl, you wanker!"

_Smack!_

"Merlin's cock! That hurt!"

"And that was for not telling me how you felt all this time and making me feel bloody awful about being hopelessly in love with you".

Sirius' face split into a wide grin at those words, despite the stinging on both his arms. Then Remus bunched the front of Sirius' robes in his fists, pulling him forward forcefully and Sirius flinched, wondering why love had to be so goddamn painful.

"And this", Remus grinned, "this is to make up for lost time".

Remus pulled Sirius' forward and pressed their lips together, letting his eyes close as he felt a giddy, blissful feeling wash over him. Sirius seemed to be feeling something similar as he quickly relaxed against Remus, sliding his hands up, gently cupping Remus' jaw with one and resting the other on the small of his back. Their tongues slid together and Remus felt his knees go weak as he realised the real feeling of this, of Sirius, was even better than a hazy, drunken memory. He tightened his grip of Sirius' robes and felt the heart beneath his hand thump crazily.

Ah, so this is what it really felt like to be in love, Sirius thought vaguely. The inescapable pain (he couldn't quite say that Remus hit like a girl – his arms still stung and burned) and then the mind blowing pleasure and bliss. He felt positively giddy.

They parted with a noise that made Remus' blood rush to his face and his heart speed up even more. Sirius grinned.

"You're blushing".

Remus felt his cheeks darken even further and glowered at the smug, amused grin.

"Shut up".

Sirius' grin widened in a chuckle and he leaned down to continue where they'd left off but was interrupted by a familiar voice for the second time in twenty four hours.

"Hey, go snog somewhere else, you two. I've gotta take a piss".

Sirius grinned devilishly and turned to look at James while Remus raised his eyebrow in the way that only he could at the bespectacled boy over Sirius' shoulder.

"You know, it's a wonder how Lily ever resisted your advances", Remus quipped, a smirk tugging at his lips, "You sure know exactly what to say to make a moment more romantic".

"Yeah, well, you two have been in here so long that Peter went and threw up all over my shoes".

James' irritated words were contrasted by the amused twinkle in his eye as he observed the way his two friends were pressed so closely together. It was about time that they'd opened their eyes to what he, Peter and Lily had seen for years.

Sirius and Remus laughed, Remus hooking his fingers between Sirius' as he led him out of the bathroom.

James' voice, no longer irritated or amused, spoke to Remus and Sirius' backs, "Just don't fuck it up, ok?"

Slightly unnerved by the serious tone of James' voice, they turned but he'd already shut the door. They were silent for a few moments before Sirius snorted, a sneer twisting his mouth.

"So he thinks I'm going to fuck it up, huh?"

"He was addressing both of us, Padfoot".

"But he was talking to me", Sirius snapped back at Remus' calm tone, "He thinks I'm just going to get bored after a couple of weeks and fuck up seven years of friendship. I mean I know that you tell me I'm a prat all the time, but I'm not _that_ much of a prat".

Remus tilted his head as he gave Sirius an interested sidelong glance.

"You're not?"

"Is it that hard to believe that I actually give a fuck about this, about us?", Remus raised his eyebrows and Sirius continued angrily, "Look, I know that I haven't been what you would call a gentleman in the past with girls, but you're not a girl, in case you haven't noticed. You're different – _this_ is different. I want this to work for as long as you want it to...probably even longer. I _meant it_ when I said that I loved you".

Sirius glared at Remus, daring him to argue, to tell him that he wasn't capable of feeling anything with more depth than a puddle of piss, but he didn't (probably because Moony _wouldn't_ say something like that, anyway). Instead, Remus smiled just slightly and gripped Sirius' hand tighter as he said, "Sirius, are you trying to tell me that you're _serious_ about this?"

Sirius groaned, smacking his forehead with his palm at the ridiculous and criminally overused pun that he thought Remus only found funny when he was drunk.

"Moony, you're killing me here! I'm being seri-oh, _for fuck's sake!_ I'm not kidding!"

Remus just laughed, leaning into Sirius as he did, silently giving his answer as he pressed smiling lips to Sirius' slightly pouting ones. However, the thought of Sirius pouting set him off laughing again and although Sirius didn't find any of it particularly funny, he found himself laughing along with him.

Yeah, they were going to do just fine.

OOOOOOOOOOOOO

I know Remus' rant was stupid, OOC and plain old fucking retarded but I'm terrible at making rants seem realistic T^T Sorry!

You know that you've read too much Sirius/Remus fanfiction when you can't remember how to spell _serious. _-_- Seriously (oh fuck – pun not intended!), I keep spelling it as Sirious! I need serious help! OH, NOT AGAIN. FUCKING SIRIUS AND HIS STUPID, DUMBSHIT GODDAMN MOTHERFUCKING NAME! THIS SHIT ISN'T INTENDED, I SWEAR! I've had a stressful day, can you tell? I tried to make doughnuts; the little fuckers just looked like wet turds :/

Hmm...The word 'fuck' was used a lot in this chapter :/ Must be a reflection of my inner turmoil or some shizz like that XD hahaha I'm so fucking funny.

I wasn't expecting to end the chapter where I did but I think it worked well enough like that. Or maybe I'm jacked up on coffee and can't think properly anymore. God knows.

I can't wait to get on to writing the next chapters! Oooooooh, I'm so excited! :D (Again, that may be the coffee talking XP)

Anyway, let me know what you think, and please stay tuned for the next two chapters, you lovely lovely people you! :)


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

Notes: My reviewers are AWESOME. I'm so sorry that I didn't reply to some of you; I kept getting 'Error 404', when I tried. Just know that I appreciate your words very much and I'm so glad you thought Remus' rant was good. Your comments made my week ^_^ You have no idea how much your reviews mean to me! I love you all. Oh, and I love the alerters and the favouriters too. And _you _too! Because you, invisible reader, are reading this and even if you don't fave or anything, I'm just happy that people take the time to read my work. However, reviews do make my day ;D

Notes 2: Sorry if this chapter gets a little wordy at times but I've just been feeling so lost with school ending and waiting for the exam results that will determine whether I get the uni course I want or not. Luckily I have writing to take my mind off such stressful thoughts. Thank god for Sirius/Remus. Imagining happiness is one way to make it a reality, and these boys deserve some happiness. So it's no coincidence that this chapter is concerning the Marauder's leaving school. 3

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

The smell of summer was in the air. The air felt heavy and warm, uncomfortable but not yet stifling in its heat, the early days of summer heralding the end to another school year and, this year, the end to an era. They were not quite students anymore and yet they were not quite adults. The youthful hope and passion remained with them, but they were too old to hope blindly, too seasoned to believe in blind optimism. Remus gazed up at the blue sky stretching from horizon to horizon, humbling and terrifying in its enormity, its intensity. It had never looked more menacing, more terrifying than now, when his life was so full of uncertainty.

He'd listened to and answered the questions before, of course.

_What are you going to do after school?_

_What do you want to be when you grow up?_

_Where are you going to live when you're grown up?_

None of the answers now seemed either plausible or attractive in any way. Of course, his choices were limited because he was a werewolf but it was not just him who felt this way; he'd sensed the same melancholy, the same uncertainty in Lily too. Heard it as well in her uncharacteristically wavering voice when she confessed to him, "I don't know what to do anymore".

He could relate. Always the bookworm, he had the constant feeling of guilt that he was supposed to be studying or completing assignments but there was no studying to be done, no assignments to be completed. He was lost.

He'd applied to become a Healer at St Mungo's. They were surprisingly tolerant of lycans, claiming that they needed to hire more to help treat the numerous other lycans, to provide insight, be understanding and to protect. He wasn't sure if the job was right for him but Lily, James, Sirius and Peter had assured him that he would make a fine Healer. But the exam results seemed forever away and the prospect of starting work as an independent, respected _adult_, too much of a dream to hope for.

And then there were his friends. His life had revolved around school, something that his friends were a crucial part of. What would happen when the foundation they were built on was ripped from beneath them? What would happen when Hogwarts, their common related ground, was gone? Deep down, he knew he was being stupid; that his friends would never forget him and they certainly wouldn't let him forget them. But the doubt was still there.

"_Remus"._

That voice, whose was it? It sounded worried.

"_**Remus".**_

Was it talking to him? The name may have been a clue to that, he thought irritably, annoyed that he'd gotten so lost in thought.

"Remus, are you okay?"

Finally coming back to reality, he turned dreamily to see emerald eyes gazing at him in concern.

"I'm fine. Just thinking, that's all".

"Yeah".

Lily's single spoken word held far too much substance, too much understanding for him to believe that her own thoughts weren't too similar to his own.

Sighing, they both turned their attention back to the scene before them.

Both theirs and Peter's feet dangled in the cool, dark water of the lake as they tried not to get the hems of their hoisted school robes wet. The sun was scorching overhead and the water around their ankles would have been much more effective if their bodies had been submerged in it but only James and Sirius had had the courage (and perhaps more accurately, lack of sense and modesty) to dive in. They'd stripped to their underwear first, much to the approval of a number of giggling fifth year girls hanging around the lake like most other students that day. Both had tried to drag the other three in with them but they'd remained on the edge, Remus because he was still uncomfortable with his scars and also public nudity, Lily because she said she thought James might faint and drown if she started stripping (to which everyone else except a glowering James heartily agreed), and Peter because he still hadn't, and probably never would, grow out of his puppy fat.

They calmly watched yet another display of James' decent acting skills as he screamed and thrashed around in the dark water, yelling, "IT'S GOT MY LEG! LILY, MY LOVE, SAVE ME!", in what appeared to be another attempt at getting Lily to take off her robes and dive in to come to his rescue.

It failed. Miserably.

"I hope the Giant Squid thinks that's a mating call and drags you to the depths".

James stopped thrashing and glared sulkily for a moment as the other three Marauder's howled with laughter.

"And then you'd be jealous. Jealous of a slimy, old, stinking, fishy-", James' next words were garbled as he was swiftly yanked under the surface of the lake. Remus felt his heart falter for a moment. Even James was not _that_ good at acting. He entertained the thought of the squid pulling James down into the murky depths of the lake and him having to rescue him for only a second before Sirius Black's head broke the surface of the water next to where James had disappeared, laughing uncontrollably as he flipped his hair out of his eyes. James reappeared moments later, spluttering, choking and fully intent on murder.

"I THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO BE MOLESTED BY THE FUCKING GIANT SQUID, YOU BASTARD!"

Sirius' howl of laughter was abruptly cut off when James propelled himself out of the water to land on Sirius, forcing him under.

Remus laughed along with Lily and Peter, his worries about life after school temporarily forgotten as he was entertained by James and Sirius' drowning attempts on each other.

One particularly nasty scuffle had them both disappear under the water's surface for what felt like an hour but was probably only a minute. James surfaced, spluttering, laughing. But no Sirius. Again, ever the worry-wart, Remus felt the anxiety restrict his breathing as it had when he thought James had really been attacked by the Giant Squid. He quickly tried to calm his breathing. He was being stupid, just as he had been before. Sirius was fine, he was just pretending to be dead, as Sirius was wont to do. Just as he felt he couldn't kid himself anymore and felt panic rising inside of him, he felt something grab his ankle and pull. Hard. With an undignified shriek he slid into the lake, all the way up to the knee of the leg that had been viciously yanked. Then Sirius burst from the water directly in front of him, cackling hysterically at the shocked look on Remus' face, his hand still wrapped around his ankle.

_Remus was going to feed him to the Giant Squid._

"I THOUGHT YOU WERE DROWNING, YOU PRAT", Remus yelled, oblivious to the ringing laughter of his friends as he grabbed Sirius' stupid head in both hands and pushed him back under the water, "YOU SCARED THE SHIT OUT OF ME!"

Several thrashes, much splashing and many gurgled apologies later, Sirius surfaced, his laugh considerably less smug as he choked on the water of the Black Lake.

Perversely calmed by the pleasure of drowning Sirius, Remus kicked a half-hearted splash at him and rested back on his hands as he tried to ignore the feeling of the damp hem of his robes on his skin.

"Aww, Moony, you would have saved me, wouldn't you?", Sirius grinned, casually hoisting his torso out of the water to rest his forearms on Remus' thighs.

He obviously hadn't noticed that Remus had been trying to _drown_ him seconds earlier.

Remus didn't answer but extended his legs against Sirius' torso, gently trying to push him off.

"People are watching, Sirius", he muttered, uncomfortable with the suggestive position they were in while in full view of half of the school. He glanced around. Luckily most people had turned their attention away after Remus had stopped drowning Sirius and James was busy trying to coax Peter and Lily into the water.

"Sod 'em", Sirius huffed, bringing Remus' attention back to those grey eyes gazing up at him as he refused to budge from his position leaning on Remus' legs, "We'll only have to see them for a couple more weeks anyway".

_A couple more weeks._

Remus sighed, pushing a hand through his hair wearily. Sirius was right; a couple more weeks and they'd probably never be coming back here, would probably never see the nameless people he'd grown up being around, he'd never come back to this place that had seemed like home to him for so long.

"There's that look again. Are you imagining dying puppies or something?"

Sirius Black – ever the tactful, sensitive one.

Remus frowned at him and Sirius raised his eyebrows.

"You had that same look before. It's depressing. What's wrong?"

Remus shrugged and attempted a light-hearted laugh that just turned out kind of sad.

"I don't know, nothing, I guess", he looked down into the concerned grey eyes and found himself talking without meaning to, "I just don't know what to do anymore. Everything is changing; I got used to this place, I knew what I was doing here. But now...where am I going to be this time next year? Everything is so uncertain. I don't like it."

Sirius looked up at him thoughtfully, casually sliding his fingers between Remus' as he seemed to think about his words. Remus made to protest at the public display of affection but felt the words die in his throat at the look on Sirius' face.

"Not _everything_ is uncertain", he answered thoughtfully, "This time next year, James will still be smitten with Lily and she might have even stopped calling him an insufferable prick twice a day", Remus snorted and Sirius continued, grinning, "Peter will still be trying to escape from his dear old Mum who, by the way, will still be sending us homemade cakes and knitted hats for our birthdays. And you? You'll still be hopelessly in love with me and by then will be making my life a living wet dream".

Remus fought the urge to smack him and instead settled for one of his famous glares/raised eyebrow that never failed to make Sirius squirm.

"And what about you? Will you still be the annoying, flea-ridden mutt that you've always been?"

Sirius seemed to ponder that for a moment before replying – no pun intended – seriously, "I suppose so. But I expect you'll try to make me clean up my act. I mean, living in a dorm with you and two other guys is one thing, but when we get our own place that'll be something different entirely".

Remus gaped, speechless, but Sirius didn't seem to notice, however the red tinge crawling across his cheeks said otherwise. He continued babbling, regardless.

"I mean, you'll want me to actually _pick my clothes up off the floor,_ Merlin forbid, and one of us will have to cook, and you already whine about how long I take in the bathroom every morning, and you know how I'm a violent sleeper – you'll be kicked off the bed every night, and being neat and clean and like _you_ is such a drag, I don't think I could keep it up for long. So I guess I'll be the same, except, you know, _more_, which I'm sure you're gonna love".

Remus continued to stare at him stupidly.

_When we get our own place..._

Of course, that's what you do when you start dating someone and you tell each other that you love them, but to be honest, Remus had never quite thought of this like that. Sirius certainly wasn't one to suggest that he wanted a _commitment_, for Merlin's sake. But if that's what Sirius wanted...he hadn't really had any other plans anyway and this would give him that little bit of certainty back; even though there was no school anymore, he could still count on Sirius to always be there and where there was Sirius there was James, Peter and Lily. Besides, it would definitely be nice to finally get some privacy and time alone with Sirius. Since that crazy morning of confessions and realisation they'd had little time or privacy to do anything other than snog a couple more times. But if they had a place to themselves...

He felt a wry smile and an embarrassing red flush sneak onto his face as he looked down at their entwined fingers.

"I suppose...making your life a living wet dream would be made quite a bit easier if we had our own place, just to ourselves".

He looked up to see a grin slowly split Sirius' face and he couldn't help but return it. Sirius tried not to show it but Remus' subtle acceptance of his proposal had made him feel incredibly relieved and...ecstatic. He'd been afraid that Remus wouldn't want something so...well..._serious_.

"LILY, NO! I'M SORRY, PLEASE guurgrggghhhhhhhhbllbllllluh".

They turned to watch Lily holding James' head under the water by his beloved hair.

"No James to barge in and scream that we blinded him", Sirius pondered dreamily, ignoring his best friend's gurgled pleas for help, "Sounds amazing".

"We'll just have to deafen the neighbours instead", Remus smirked, turning back to Sirius and hoping that it didn't sound too forward before realising that this was _Sirius_ he was talking to. He could strip right now, tell him that he fancied a shag and Sirius would still probably think that it wasn't too forward. The thought of that, in front of all these people made him snigger and Sirius raised his eyebrows and smirked.

"Always knew you were an animal, Moony".

Before Remus could think of a reply he felt two strong hands gripping his wrists tightly and saw the dark water rushing up to meet him. He barely managed a cry of surprise before he was completely submerged in the lake, robes and all as Sirius cackled madly above the surface.

He broke the surface of the lake, gasping, furious, _freezing_ but somehow chuckling.

There were some things in his life that would always be certain.

And Sirius Black was one of them.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Please, _please_ let me know how I've done. A couple of people have mentioned before that my stories don't get many reviews. Although I tremendously appreciate the ones I get I can't help but yearn for more! Feed this unhealthy addiction! I crave your thoughts, be they good or bad. Even flames are appreciated. The lack of logic and a decent argument common to flames amuses me greatly.

I know this chapter seems to have changed from the last two but I think it works ok, it's just my mood changing as a PMSer's mood is wont to do XD Lies: not PMS, just me wingeing. :) Two chapters uploaded in two days – I'm on one hell of a motherfucking roll here. Let's hope it'll continue for the last chapter. 3 Love you guys!


	4. Chapter 4

I have to say, I'm quite pleased with this chapter. Let me know if the feeling is mutual or not :D I also have to say though, some of you lot don't seem too fond of reviewing XD No matter! Disregard my whining! The reviews I have received have convinced me that quality is indeed better than quantity ;) They are much appreciated! I'm glad so many of you have been kind enough to fave or alert this story. I do appreciate you all very much, despite my ridiculous whining :)

PS: I seem to be having a brief love affair with italics lately. The big chunks are usually small memories but you'll probably be able to tell. Don't worry, it probably won't last long :)

I also tried to make _the scene _(;P) between Sirius and Remus more lighthearted and humourous; I was hoping for a slightly more realistic feel to it as apparently in my fics the characters tend to change too much during a sex scene. I tried to make it shorter too. I think I got carried away again though. It's all Remus and Sirius' fault for being SEX BEASTS. XD So I'm not too sure how it ended up. Please let me know what you think!

**Chapter 4**

Sirius hated lavender.

It was a ghastly smell. It smelled harsh and overpowering and like his _mother_. Fucking ghastly. Lily had meant well when she'd placed the little bowl filled with dry lavender on their table – or he hoped she did anyway. She'd said it was to make the place more welcoming, more homely. He wrinkled his nose. It was his and Remus' new apartment, it was their table, it should have been their smells too. It should have smelled like both his and Remus' different colognes and deodorants that Padfoot had noted on many occasions mixed together wonderfully. It should have smelled like his hair conditioner, Remus' old, dusty books and Remus' favourite Belgian chocolate. It should have smelled like them but it didn't. Not yet. And until it did he knew it wouldn't smell like home.

Restless, he shoved his hands deep into his pockets and wandered around the tiny apartment aimlessly. He fingered his set of the pair of muggle keys to the apartment as he looked around at the minuscule kitchen.

"_I know saying this is pointless, but **don't lose them**, okay?", Remus' chiding voice said as he handed him the dull, silvery keys._

"_Why do we have to have these? We're **wizards**; one charm for a million keys", he'd whined – quite rightfully so too._

"_Remember, this is a muggle building so we have to act the part. Which means no obvious use of magic that the muggles will notice"._

Sirius smiled at the small but bright golden flower shining amid the deep green leaves of the plant currently basking in the sun on the kitchen windowsill. It was obviously magical, probably visible to nosy muggle neighbours but it was beautiful and he'd never seen one quite like it. It had been a house – flat – warming gift from Lily and James (probably mostly Lily). He didn't quite remember the name but he remembered Lily telling him about it.

"_It's infused with both yours and Remus' hair. That same flower will grow little bit by little bit until both of you die"._

_He'd snorted._

"_That's a little dramatic, don't you think?"_

"_The right word is **romantic**, Black. Just look after it and look after each other and it will continue to grow"._

Wordlessly he raised his wand, watching thoughtfully as water gently poured from his wand and into the pot of the plant. He smiled at the bright flower which was probably visible from the apartment across the street too. Ah well, the neighbours would be seeing far worse than a magical flower if they had the misfortune to peek in their windows. Sirius smirked. Yes, indeed, he had big plans for this apartment. In fact, big plans concerning a notably attractive werewolf and the kitchen floor, the kitchen bench, the living room table, the old, worn couch, the living room floor, the hall, the walls – _all _of them – and he didn't think he could even start on the bedroom and bathroom yet...ah, the list could go on forever. Together for three months now and nothing more than a few clumsy, hurried gropes here and there. It was killing him.

He sighed, leaning against the kitchen bench. Speaking of said attractive werewolf, he was taking his sweet time. He'd said he had to grab the last few boxes from his parent's place and that he'd be right back. _Probably found a good book he hasn't seen in a while_, Sirius mused glumly.

_Oh the woes of shacking up with a bookworm._

Said bookworm then decided to make his presence known at that exact moment, the sound of keys turning in the lock of the front door alerting Sirius to his arrival. Sirius poked his head around into the hall.

There he was, large box perched precariously on one thigh and gripped tightly under one arm as he pushed the door shut behind him with one foot. Oh and lo and behold, a large _book_ under his other arm.

Sirius rolled his eyes affectionately.

"More books, Moony?"

"It's just the one. One more can't hurt".

Sirius snorted, thinking of the feeble, rickety bookcase in the lounge room holding **all** of Remus' numerous books. If you were standing near it when it collapsed, one more book certainly could hurt. But he didn't say it.

This was their apartment. It would be _their_ bookcase crumbling to the ground, _their_ mistakes, _their_ accidents, _their_ memories. That was enough for him.

He watched Remus carefully lower the box to the ground, lining it up with the others, their contents identified as Remus' by the neat, 'Remus' books', or 'Remus' clothes' written on the side, and Sirius' identified by the scrawl of, 'My shit', on the side.

"I guess we can unpack all this stuff later", Remus mused out loud, looking guiltily at the group of boxes that were somewhat blocking the entrance of the hall to the lounge room.

"_Much_ later", Sirius agreed whole heartedly, feeling no guilt whatsoever.

It was strangely uncomfortably silent as Remus seemed to survey the group of boxes with great interest and Sirius lounged against the wall watching him.

"So", Remus cleared his throat awkwardly, "You hungry?"

"Not really".

"Well...we have this this whole apartment to ourselves. What do you want to do now?"

Here it was. Finally, what they'd been waiting for for _three months_. Privacy. Time. Together.

As Remus' brown eyes met Sirius' grey ones, twin evil grins simultaneously split their faces.

Then they were running, laughing breathlessly as they both tripped on the same box, stumbling but not falling. Remus was ahead of Sirius and was almost at the bedroom door when arms wrapped tightly around his middle, making him let out an embarrassingly less-than-manly cry of surprise and excitement. The arms drew him back securely against the chest shaking with laughter behind him. He was laughing too as he leaned back against the sturdy body, laughter slowly fading as he twisted his neck to press his lips to Sirius'.

"Alright, you caught me. Now what?", he murmured, smiling again.

"I don't know yet, but you've always said that I have a good imagination", Sirius smirked back at him before leaning down to kiss him again. For the first time since they'd started dating, they weren't thinking about who might interrupt them because no one would. The thought thrilled them both and Remus found himself twisting his body around in Sirius' arms to face him and kiss him more thoroughly. Hands fisted in clothing and in hair, lips parted and tongues slid together with an intensity they hadn't experienced before. Sirius pulled away slightly, leaving a breathless Remus feeling weak at the knees as he first kissed his cheek, moved down to his jaw and then further down to the bared neck, mouthing and tonguing the smooth skin.

"Shit...you're good at that", Remus admitted breathlessly as his breath hitched noticeably when Sirius sucked gently on his neck.

Talented, elegant hands tangled in Sirius' hair and he moved back up for another kiss...but stopped at the look on Remus' face. It was a look of...distaste? Confused, he raised his eyebrows. That was not the expression he'd been hoping for.

"I smell lavender", Remus clarified, nose wrinkling, "I _hate_ lavender".

Sirius gaped at him stupidly for a few seconds.

_They were obviously meant for each other._

Sirius continued to gaze at him with wonder before exclaiming with a straight face, "Do you know that I fucking love you, Remus Lupin?"

Remus laughed, not quite understanding but not caring.

"I think I've gathered that much", smiling as he added gently, "But I'll never tire of hearing it".

"Is that a challenge?"

"I believe it is. Now, Monsieur Padfoot – to the bedroom where you can _show me_ how much you fucking love me".

Never one to back down from a challenge and ever the dramatic git that Remus always bemoaned he was, Sirius swiftly bent down and hoisted his new flat mate over his shoulder. Laughing at the protests and the cry of, "Your shoulder is bloody – ah! – bony!", he burst into the bedroom and quite unceremoniously threw a very disgruntled Remus Lupin down onto the bed. He landed with an ungraceful 'Umph' and a worryingly loud creaking of the old bed springs. Raising his eyebrows at the suggestive sound of the bed, Sirius smirked and suggested, "How about we keep the bed for now, maybe only for tonight?"

They should transfigure a new one as this one was old, creaky and the thought of how many other bodies may have slept on it was disturbing, but the loud, suggestive squeaking sound of the springs was a bit of a turn on.

"At least change the mattress. This one smells", Remus complained, wrinkling his nose again.

Sirius silently agreed, taking his wand out, giving the mattress a hard look for a second before flicking his wand and muttering the spell. The old mattress transfigured into a soft, lush bed, complete with black covers and sheets. Smiling in approval, Remus leaned back, grinning when the bed springs still creaked loudly in protest. His grin was mirrored by Sirius as the grey eyed wizard imagined Moony's long, pale, naked body stretched out on the dark sheets.

_This was going to be a good night._

Wordlessly, Remus reached up, pulling Sirius forward as he sought to pull off his robes. Sirius helped, yanking the robes over his head and tossing them to the floor as he already started on the shirt and jeans he'd worn beneath the robes.

_Why on earth had he worn so much damn clothing today?_

He pulled the shirt off quickly, and the jeans soon followed, despite him fumbling with the button and zip. Remus watched avidly, bottom lip caught between his teeth as he slowly drank in the sight of Sirius' glorious skin being revealed piece by piece. Sirius made to pull down his briefs but Remus' hands pulled his away and pulled him forward, towards the bed. Then Remus' hands were there, cool and firm on his hips and Remus' warm and then quickly cooling breath was ghosting sensually over his stomach.

It was _torture._ Pleasurable torture, but torture all the same.

And then it was Remus' lips and tongue doing the torturing, mouthing Sirius' firm stomach before moving to his left hip to leave little red marks where he nipped him.

Sirius' breath was coming faster but he didn't notice and wouldn't have cared. The only thing that mattered was that that talented, _beautiful_ mouth never stopped touching him.

Oh, Merlin, then Remus' scorching tongue was slowly dipping into his navel and Sirius groaned, feeling his cock swell and lift. Remus hooked his fingers in the waistband of the briefs and gently tugged them down. He flicked a look up at Sirius who could only look back helplessly, silently begging with his eyes.

Remus was new to this; Sirius could tell by the way he'd jerked back slightly at the first taste, but he was a quick learner and a damn good one too. Not to mention enthusiastic. However, it was clumsy and messy and Remus didn't end up fitting much of it in as he gagged quickly, unused to the feeling. But surprisingly, Remus didn't seem to feel too much embarrassment, his lips and tongue working dexterously to find the places that made Sirius' head spin. Soon, the only sounds in the room was the soft sucking sounds from Remus' mouth and Sirius' curses and groans. It was a sweet, sweet melody.

Smiling, Remus pulled back, looking up at Sirius with reddened lips, a decidedly smug smirk and Sirius couldn't help but feel both disappointment and anticipation. He chuckled weakly, "You're really living up to that promise about making my life a living wet dream".

Remus grinned back, pulling Sirius down to face him.

"You have no idea, Padfoot".

Remus' answer left him breathless and starving for more. He hurriedly helped Remus pull off his robes, chuckling as the light brown hair was left thoroughly tousled and distinctly..._un-Remusy_.

He forgot all about that however, when he was pulled down to kiss an almost naked Remus.

_Almost_ naked?

Can't have that.

Sirius slid cool fingertips down Remus' sides, relishing the way his torso flinched and quivered in quiet laughter.

_Ticklish?_

Sirius snickered.

Then Remus was done laughing as Sirius attempted to pull his briefs down. Ever the helpful, sympathetic one, Remus took pity on him as he struggled, leaning back, lifting his hips up and allowing Sirius to push Remus' last defence down to his ankles.

Sirius leaned back to get a good look.

Remus was thin, no longer scrawny as he had been in their fifth year, but bones still too prominent. He was too pale as well, his body positively blinding against the black bed and the white lattice of scars marring his body were quite noticeable. But somehow when all of it was brought together, it made one beautiful picture. There was elegance in Remus' long, pale limbs and strength interwoven into the white scars. Also, the white of his skin darkened as it descended beneath the dark brown, wiry hair, finally reddening to make quite an eye catching piece. And by Merlin, did he have a _magnificent_ arse. Sirius couldn't quite see it right then but recently he'd been admiring it enough to imagine what it would look like with nothing covering it. And boy, was it nice. Despite being thin in limb and torso, Remus had filled out rather nicely in his nether regions, the gentle slopes and generous curves frequently giving Sirius the urge to smack it while also catapulting him into some rather graphic daydreams. Perhaps he'd tell Remus about those daydreams sometime. Or even better: _show_ him.

He grinned but felt it fade as he turned his attention to Remus' face.

He looked nervous, twitchy, face bright red, brow furrowed and that lovely mouth quirked down slightly as he appeared to be fighting the urge to cover himself from Sirius' intense gaze. He'd almost forgotten how self-conscious Remus was – especially when it came to his scars. Sirius leaned forward quickly, seeking to reassure as he gently pressed his lips to a particularly jagged scar below Remus' collarbone.

"You're bloody gorgeous, mate", he murmured truthfully, gruffly, hoping he didn't sound like too much of a poncy poof. Never mind the fact that he was naked and in bed with his _boyfriend_.

He frowned at the derisive snort from said boyfriend and slid a hand up a lightly haired thigh before roughly grabbing the semi-erect cock that he'd been admiring only moments before.

"I fucking mean it. You're _**gorgeous**_", Sirius insisted, pleased that Remus wasn't arguing anymore as his hand slid up and down the burning shaft.

In fact, Remus had apparently forgotten how to speak, his jaw hanging slack and his face pulled into the most beautiful, erotic expression.

Sirius retracted his hand regretfully and pushed Remus flat onto the bed more roughly than he'd meant to. He made to apologize but before he could, Remus' hands were in his hair, pulling him down to kiss him just as roughly. Sirius smiled in wonder against the lips.

_They were equals here. They could each give as much as they got._

He'd never had that before and it was sending thrills through his body. He pressed himself against the deliciously warm lips and body beneath him and temporarily lost the ability to breathe. Naked, burning skin slid over similarly enticing skin, the shock and pleasure Sirius was feeling reflected in Remus' expression as he gazed up at him, deep eyes filled with wonder.

"Sirius", Remus whispered automatically, arching his back and shutting his eyes, prompting Sirius to lean down and kiss him soundly. Grunting in what sounded like frustration after a few seconds, he pulled away from Sirius' mouth, eyes unfocused as he reached down between them to adjust their cocks so they slid against each other.

"Shit!", Sirius panted, hands clutching at Remus' skin as his hips jerked roughly in surprise.

"Yeah, I know. Keep going", Remus murmured, a wonderful dreamy smile on his lips as he arched up against Sirius again.

A few more moments and Sirius had to pull away, wanting to do more than just finish thrusting against each other like that. It certainly felt good but there was something else that he'd heard and read about that he'd like to try – actually he'd been _dying to try_ since he'd noticed what a lovely arse Remus had, one fine morning in their sixth year.

Remus frowned up at Sirius as he sat back. Grinning roguishly, he cast one more appraising look over Remus' body before leaning down to kiss the inside of one of two slightly parted thighs. Instinctively, the legs spread wider as Sirius kissed his way upwards, leaving a cooling trail of saliva and shuddering, pleasantly flinching skin in his wake. He could feel Remus' intent gaze on him and in response he ran his lips up the burning, erect cock in front of him. It was an interesting and not unpleasant sensation but more pressing was the way it made Remus' eyes shut tight and his head fall back. Perfect. Now there would be no protests against what he was planning because Remus would only feel it when he actually did it. He exchanged soft lips for a scorching tongue, running it from root to tip and tried not to smirk at the wonderful little sounds Remus was making. Satisfied that Remus was appropriately distracted, Sirius stroked feather-light touches over the split between the two white cheeks before gently pushing between to find Remus' entrance. He'd circled his finger around the small, puckered entrance only once before he felt Remus tense and freeze beneath him.

"And who said you'd be the one doing that?"

Sirius smiled at how he could _hear_ the raised eyebrow in that tone, "Oh, come on, Moony. You know you want it".

Remus snorted, still not looking down at him but Sirius noted with a grin that he didn't deny it.

Taking this as permission to continue, he started moving his finger again, still slowly, still gently. In the past three months he'd been curious enough to undertake a little bit of research regarding the current activities he was hopefully about to undertake with Remus. In other words, shagging. Or more precisely, blokes shagging and how to do it properly. He'd even bought a book: _Wizards Who Love Wands_. He'd purchased it, head held high and infamous Black coldness in his gaze, daring the shopkeeper to laugh or sneer at him. She hadn't. She'd given him a once-over and a cheeky, "Happy reading, sir", but nothing more. And it _had_ been happy reading too. Not only had it gotten him hard on a number of occasions but it had also provided useful information and tips that a beginner would need. And now it was time to put those information and tips to use.

Sirius scrambled off the bed, throwing a reassuring grin back at a slightly dazed and surprised Remus as he bent over his discarded clothes. Rummaging desperately, he couldn't help but think that it had never been so fucking difficult to find the opening to a pocket before. Finally, his wand was in his hand and he flicked the silent summoning charm in the general direction of the hall. There was an odd ripping sound as the summoned vial tore through cardboard as it escaped from one of Sirius' boxes, whizzing through the open bedroom door to be caught deftly in Sirius' hand. He crawled back onto the bed, ignoring Remus' quizzical look and settling once again between the spread legs.

"Don't worry, I know what I'm doing", Sirius muttered, pouring the clear, slippery liquid onto his fingers.

"Why doesn't that reassure me?" Remus retorted as he watched Sirius accidentally spill some of the liquid, dribbling the slimy lube down Remus' thigh.

Wet fingers circled once more around the tight entrance, "You'll be pleased to know that I actually did research for this".

Remus' eyes fluttered in surprised pleasure as the finger sent tingles racing through his skin, even as he smirked, "I see you've deemed this to be at least at Marauder mischief level of importance then, rather than schoolwork level".

"Even higher. I read a whole fucking book, Moony. Of my own will too".

Remus laughed breathlessly as the devious finger continued to circle teasingly.

"For me, Padfoot? I'm flattered".

Sirius smiled in response, finally deciding that Remus was ready as he carefully pushed the tip of his finger inside the tight heat. Remus gasped, face contorting as he struggled to adjust.

"Relax, it'll feel better soon, I promise", Sirius murmured, stilling his finger as he allowed Remus time to adjust. Remus' muscles slowly relaxed around Sirius' finger and Sirius pushed it in further, trying not to let his impatience or guilt show as Remus tightened around him again.

"Merlin, feels weird", Remus whispered between hitched breaths, arching his back involuntarily as his body sought to get away from the intrusive object.

"Do you...want me to stop?", Sirius whispered back, guilt at Remus' pain overtaking the curiosity and lust.

"No, no, keep going", Remus deepened his breathing and flashed the anxious Sirius a small smile, "It's starting to feel a little better".

Sirius obeyed, pulling his finger out a little and pushing it back in a little faster. Remus' eyes slid shut and his face relaxed slightly as his body opened up a little more to Sirius, his hips rolling leisurely against the thrusting finger.

Sirius' brow furrowed, loving the way Remus was responding but still searching for that little thing that would really make Remus' head explode. He curled his finger upwards slightly and Remus went rigid, back arching, fingers clutching desperately at the sheets and mouth wide open in a silent cry of pleasure.

He guessed he found it.

"Told you that I knew what I was doing".

Remus could hear the smugness in Sirius' voice but Merlin's hairy balls, he couldn't have cared less. All that mattered was that Sirius keep doing _that_.

"Then _keep_ doing it. Don't stop!".

Sirius, happy to oblige, added another finger and waited for Remus to relax again before he began looking for that spot again. And there it was, Remus growling and cursing, his hips jerking and back arching off the bed. Fuck, he was beautiful.

Sirius removed his fingers and wiped his still slippery hand over his cock twice, shuddering at the feeling. He leaned over Remus, one elbow resting beside his head while the other positioned his cock at Remus' entrance.

"You okay?", he asked breathlessly, searching Remus' face for any doubt or regret. He found none. Only a sharp slap to his hip as Remus groaned, "Just hurry up and do it while I'm still young".

He grinned, leaning down to gently nip a reddened bottom lip as he slowly, carefully pushed inside.

"Oww, _oww_, _**owww**_!"

Sirius stopped immediately at Remus' shout of pain. Remus hastily pushed at his shoulders and he leaned back, slipping out of him as he did so with a worried expression on his face, hoping, _praying_ that he hadn't made him mad enough to not want to try this again.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean-".

"You didn't do it right", Remus interrupted impatiently, grabbing the vial and tipping a more than generous amount over his hand. He stroked Sirius' burning cock with the same hand, satisfied only when the lube dripped from it.

"Try again", Remus ordered, laying back down and grabbing a cushion to shove under his hips. Surprised but incredibly glad that Remus was being so understanding, Sirius obeyed, leaning over him again.

"Lift my legs up higher and more apart", Remus ordered some more, surprisingly unabashed as he told Sirius exactly how to shag him.

"Yeah, like that".

So _**bossy**_.

But Sirius obeyed every word, lifting Remus' legs up and around his biceps, gripping the thighs securely. Remus reached down between his own legs to grasp Sirius' erection and guide him to his entrance again.

"Try again. I'll tell you when to stop".

Sirius smirked at the pure bossiness but continued to obey, pushing in past the resisting muscle and instantly coming to a stop when Remus said so. It worked like this. _Boy, did it work_. Sirius bit his lip viciously as he fought not to thrust even a little bit more than Remus could take. But the way Remus clenched and slid around him was maddening; he'd never experienced anything so tight or so hot. Finally fully buried inside of him, Sirius admitted, panting, "Sorry, this isn't going to last long".

"Mmm, that's okay", Remus mumbled distractedly, eyes dazed and unfocused, "I'm not going to either".

The sweat was dripping down Sirius' back and sides and he shook with the effort it took to hold still.

Desperation obvious in his voice, Sirius groaned, "Can I...?"

He received a fervent nod and a small "Yeah", and that was all he needed.

His hips ground back and forth, thrusts small at first but quickly increasing in speed and force as the pleasure mounted. Remus' face contorted beautifully as he struggled to not let the sensations overcome him. Soon, his head jerked back roughly and he let out a strange but sweet sound, letting Sirius know exactly where to aim.

Frustrated with only being able to touch Remus' legs (though very nice legs they were), Sirius hoisted them over his shoulders and slipped one hand down to Remus' hip while the other steadied one of Remus' thighs. This new angle worked and Remus told him so with moans and curses and fingers digging into his shoulders. Sensing that his orgasm was speeding towards him with more force than a herd of angry hippogriffs, Sirius reached between Remus' hips to fist his cock, enticing the most amazing noises from those beautiful, parted lips. The bed springs were squeaking and creaking noisily and the noise mixed beautifully with Remus' cries and moans, his own grunts and their heavy breathing. Everything was slowly melding and blurring together, his hips slamming back and forth and Sirius was gasping out helplessly, "Moony, I can't, I can't, I'm going to-".

Before he could finish, Remus arched his back violently, fingers clawing at his shoulders and back as he let out a deafening, strangled scream. Vaguely, Sirius registered that it was his name that Remus had screamed, but he was distracted by the way Remus was clenching convulsively around him and the subsequent tingles racing through his whole body. He rammed deeply back into the shuddering body beneath him and shouted and grunted his release as his hips jerked and bucked uncontrollably.

The world was blurred and far too bright as he opened his eyes again. _Holy fucking Merlin_. He slowly, tiredly lifted his head to grin in lazy disbelief at the wonderful, wonderful man beneath him. There was water gathered at the corners of Remus' dazed eyes, probably from how tight he'd shut his eyes, and his breath was still coming in sharp gasps.

Grunting, Sirius carefully pulled out of him and gently slid the legs off his shoulders before collapsing on top of the sweaty, sticky body beneath him. Remus groaned as his body adjusted from the position and stroked a shaky hand through Sirius' sweaty hair.

"Monsieur Padfoot, that was...commendable", Remus smiled at the snort that came from somewhere in the vicinity of his chest before adding truthfully, "Bloody amazing".

"Wasn't it?" Sirius smiled back, feeling languid and sleepy as he listened to the still frantically beating heart beneath his cheek.

"Mmmm", Remus lazily murmured his agreement, fingers gently brushing over the angry red welts on Sirius' back and shoulders.

They were both slipping into a deep sleep, wrapped around each other, warm, well fucked and in absolute privacy. It was bliss.

BANG BANG BANG.

They jerked awake from their doze.

"If that's James at the door I'm going to hang him out of the window by his cock".

BANG BANG BANG.

Remus groaned as he heard as he heard an unfamiliar voice shout from the front door, "Would you two bastards stop fucking for a second and give everyone some peace and quiet?"

Sirius burst into loud, unabashed laughter.

"I guess we forgot the silencing charm".

Sirius then laughed some more as Remus covered his bright red face with his hands, his horrified murmur muffled.

"_That's_ the first impression we make on our new neighbours?"

"Well at least they know our names now; you sure screamed mine loud enough".

Remus swatted him on the back of the head but allowed himself a snicker as he heard footsteps retreat from the front door.

Sirius, chuckling, settled back down on Remus' chest as he grinned evilly, "But we'll give them an encore later – just in case they forget". Remus groaned but couldn't hide his smile as they settled back down, snuggling together, the world outside quickly forgotten as their hands locked together.

Things weren't perfect and they had their problems, but they also had each other.

Yeah, they were going to do just fine.

OOOOOOOOOOOOO

_**Stupid ending. Ah well. **_

_**Argh! This chapter is too long! How is it that I have absolutely no self control when it comes to these two? Please forgive the unnecessarily long smut scene!**_

_**I **still** think Remus is more realistic as top. He is a werewolf after all: he'd get those aggressive, dominant urges and he seems more controlled and steady...but I can't help myself. XD It's just cuter when he's bottom. Conversely, when Sirius is bottom I seem to get more flames. To those ridiculous flamers who were cowardly enough to attempt to insult me anonymously on other stories so I couldn't reply, I laughed heartily at your stupidity and saved the flames so I could laugh at them some more later. Perhaps on a rainy day when I'm doubting my abilities as I writer, I will read those flames and be comforted that at least I could never be as pitiful as you. Cheers!**_

_**In other news, dudes and dudettes, I definitely need to improve on the writing of smut. I suppose that just means practice. And plenty of it ;D I'm planning a dom!Remus one soon so look out for that ;P**_

_**Reviews, alerts and faves (and even flames) are appreciated immensely! Thanks everyone for taking the time to read my fanfic. YOU'RE AWESOME!**_


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